My Spiritual Weekend in Downey!

...Now who the hell wouldn't want to eat at a place called Squeezy's Pizza? What a incredible weekend I just had yawl! I had planned to drive to Alabama to see my old ma whilst I got vacation time. But she went and moved herself into a new trailer and ain't settled and unpacked and I don't wanna help her do all thet, I hate fisical work.

So, I started out my spiritual weekend by going to the Citadel in Downey, right here in California! The only other plans I had was to go out and git me a good lunch then drive out to see some other fambly - who I don't rightly like but they's all I got since Barney disappeard. So I needed this hear spiritual trip.

After I got me some vittles, I was headed back toward the freeway when I spotted it. There, in all its splender, was the most beautiful mall I ever seen in my entire lifetime. The Smithsonian, the Gugenheim, the Louvre...all pig poop! That's right yawl, this was the THE CITADEL!You see, this here was a backdrop to the movie Ben Hur, which my pastor says I ain't allowed to see, bein that it gots too many homo overtones. But the Citadel is right here in Downey, California! And peoples wonder why us Californians are so proud...We invented gladiator movies for Christ's sake! This building happens to be the original 1906 Assyrian castle. It got 3 floors worth of Ben Hur artifacts. It was so beautiful. Really...words ain't enough, which is why this here pitcher is nessessary.

It sure was spiritual!